Isolation log: Day 5 – Cabin fever but no actual fever

We’re not quite there yet, but my son has already told me he is planning on collecting leaves

Firstly, my youngest son is feeling much better, he was not registering a high temperature as of yesterday. It is unlikely it was Covid-19, but we will never know. The important thing is that he’s ok. Just a bit snotty 😤.

My Wife is taking it all in her stride, not affected at all. Loud hyper kids running around and jumping all over the place and she can still get on with work with her normal resolute calmness.

I’m still working also, but my job involves more phone calls, which can be difficult with lots of noise. However, we can all only do our best. I am finding it very difficult having to sit on the sidelines and watch my team without me. Thankfully they are an amazing group of people.

Every morning I take the boys out the back to run in the garden. Our eldest (7) and I are doing laps around the garden and each day adding 10 to our total. In the evening we have also been doing YouTube workouts.

I had been following a pretty strict workout schedule and diet before the isolation. 5 days in and I already feel like a spare tire is growing. I’ve cut my calories from 3500 to 2800 to make up for the reduced exercise and movement.

“Only” 2 cases of Covid-19 recorded on the Isle of Man so far. I expect this number to jump over the coming weeks. It also wouldn’t surprise me to see similar restrictions put in place as the UK did today, such as closing schools.

In terms of OCD, I’m doing ok. My brain has tried to pull out a couple of old novels from the OCD shelf of pain including: “You might have gotten HIV from using a public bathroom” and “Maybe you will go to hell for committing the unpardonable sin”. But I’ve managed to close the books and put them away, for now at least.

My mood, like many in this position, is up and down. Low mood is a breeding ground for obsessive thoughts. OCD and depression often present comorbidly (is that a word? It is now). For some it’s the OCD that leads to depression, but for many one can spark the other. I would probably say that I generally fall in the first camp. However, sometimes I do suffer with depression even when my OCD is in the background.

I think the worst part about all of this is the helplessness I feel. I have an extremely high sense of responsibility for others (I always have), as do many with OCD. I wish I could help more. Yes, I work with vulnerable people anyway, but I always feel like I should be doing more; such as delivering food to the elderly or slapping a few people bulk buying pasta. (Clearly this is a joke, I would also kick them).

Anyway, hope everyone is doing okay out there. I am blessed to have a supportive family and a stable income. There are many that have neither.

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